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Tens of thousands of words have been spoken and written about nothing much by dozens of talking heads and pen smiths. Here’s what happened in as few words as possible.
Maori Roll Option
Politician say
Enrol enrol.
Rangatahi say
Vote for you?
Whatever!
Ikaroa-Rawhiti
Meka Labour first
Te Hamua Mana second
Na Maori third
Marama Green fourth
Yawn.
Most people not vote
Not for them anyway
That the real result.
Labour Campaign
Yawn
Mana Campaign
Bromance
Look at me
Look at me
In love
Wit myself.
Maori Campaign
Bromance
Look at me
Look at me
In love
Wit National
National Campaign
Bromance
Don’t look at me
Look at Maori Party.
Green Campaign
Wake up you fulla
I the one worth lookin at
Too much Bromance
Not enough Romance
Maori Party
Pita
He rangatira no more
Kaitoa, haere ra
Te Ururoa
He rangatira now
Big paddle, no waka.
E Pem Te Chair
Haere ra
E Naida Te Chairess hou
Kia ora
E ki ra George Ngatai
Kaitoa!
Maori Party
Not Destiny Party
Maybe
Musical Chairs Party
Sky City Party
Bourbon and Coke Party
But not Destiny Party George.
Kiss and Make Up Party
Hone say
You fulla join my Party
Me rangatira.
Te Ururoa say
You kiss my kumu
You big waka, no paddle.
Labour Party
Who rangatira?
United Future Party
Oops
No rangatira
NZ First Party
Same old rangatira
Green Party
Co-rangatira
Pakeha Party
Look at me
Look at me.
Duh.
Urewera Raid
Now Te Ururoa
No got inquiry.
Course not.
Police Rule #1
Admit nuttin.
Politician Rule #1
See Police Rule #1
GCSB Committee Hearing
Rule #1
We no risten
Rule #2
See Rule #1
Rule #3
See Rule #2
Rule #4
See Rule #5
Rule #5
Blinds and curtains illegal.
Peeping Tom Society
E hoa ma
Now illegal
Pull your blind
Draw your curtain
You got nuttin to hide
You got nuttin to worry bout.
Your house.
Your castle no more.
Kim Dotcom
My house, my mega castle
I gonna get you John Key.
You got nuttin to hide
You got nuttin to worry bout.
John Key
Dotcom who?
Trust me
You no need
Blind and curtain
Baby safe now
GCSB
Hack your Babycam
Smile
I said
Smile
Yes you
Smile
My friend Ian
Got you on Babycam.
National Party
Big John
He the rangatira
Smile
ACT Party
To market
To market
To buy a fat pig
Hey Dotcom
You rangatira
You pay for pig?
Smile Banksy
You lucky
You not on Courtcam
I think
You on Gonecam
Smile.
E hoa ma, isn’t politics interesting.
Well it is if you got a sense of funny.